Bloomberg and Deadpan Alley

Who as it that thought Michael Bloomberg would be the antidote to the Bernie Sanders problem? Yes, he has virtually unlimited cash, and the DNC is practically broke, but he has the personality of a dead fish. The expression on his face said, “Nobody talks to me like that!” He was woefully unprepared, and he was reeling from attacks coming from people who do not work for him. 

A lot of his support is coming from his advertizing blitz, but almost all of his support comes from people who do not know him. Unfortunately for Mikey, the more you get to know him, the less you like him. He tried to land a punch on Bernie with a legitimate challenge to his status as the leading Socialist in the country and a millionaire with three houses. But he couldn’t follow it up. 

When asked about his taxes, he couldn’t resist reminding us how complicated and voluminous his tax returns would be, because he is so successful. It wasn’t what he said but the tone we perceive emanating from him when he says it. Then he goes and confirms that perception by his incredibly stupid and unnecessary statement, “I can’t just go to Turbotax.” What we hear then is, “I can’t just go to Turbotax like the rest of you, peasants.”  

Here’s some advice, Mikey. Beating billionaire hating Democrats over the head with your wealth is probably not a good idea. They are not impressed. Especially when Elizabeth Warren challenges you with statements attributed to you about women, and your response was to look like you just ate a lemon and washed it down with castor oil. Your response to a challenge to release numerous former employees from non-disclosure agreements was a weak and pathetic, “They were entered into consensually and will remain confidential.” Really? On the same day that a story broke about a family that feels their signing of that agreement was coerced? Do you want to reconsider that answer?

Here is one more piece of advice just because I’m in a generous mood. You might want to read some things that are not written by journalists who work for you. You know, like people who you can’t order to report only positive things about your campaign. But you see that’s the problem with being a narcissistic, self-aggrandizing, arrogant, elitist blowhard. You can’t hear opinions you can’t buy, and that’s a lousy way to prepare for a debate or a campaign. 

I will give you one thing, though. You are living proof, Mikey, that making money is no indicator of how much “grey matter” you have. Because next to the farmers, factory workers, blue-collar and whitecollar workers who continue to build this country every day, you, sir, are an imbecile. 

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